The truth behind the millennial "midlife crisis" | The Gray Area

在“The Gray Area”的一期节目中，客座主持人John Gwynn Hill与Emile Niazzi进行了对话。Emile Niazzi是《The Cut》的专栏作家，主要撰写关于工作和母亲身份的文章。Niazzi最近探讨了千禧一代的中年危机如何以不同方式表现，她将在这次对话中进一步深入探讨这个话题。 Niazzi解释了她个人为何被这个话题所吸引，因为她本人已年过40，并且观察到她这一代、X世代以及她父母那一代人在中年经历上存在鲜明对比。她认为，由于经济、文化和生育危机交织在一起，千禧一代正面临一个“特别不稳定的人生阶段”，她将自己定位为“煤矿里的金丝雀”，为这些变化敲响警钟。 对话首先审视了“四分之一人生危机”，Hill描述他25岁时曾经历这种危机，表现为因未能达到人生中预期的里程碑而不断哭泣。Niazzi对此深有同感，回忆起她大学毕业后在新闻业求职、支付房租和处理感情方面的挣扎。他们讨论了对人生成就的“恐慌”似乎越来越年轻化，因为传统上作为成年标志的——比如搬出去住、获得稳定工作和实现财务自由——对年轻一代来说变得越来越难以企及。这些传统标志的瓦解导致了对成就的更早恐慌。 Niazzi区分了四分之一人生危机和中年危机，指出尽管情绪可能相似，但中年危机的风险要高得多。有了孩子、抵押贷款和更多责任，失足意味着“会失去更多、更多”，而25岁时，可能还可以搬回家住或依靠室友。 她的专栏采访了像Joy这样的人，Joy觉得她无法负担父母曾为她提供的生活方式，这凸显了一种代际倒退感。Niazzi采访的受访者中普遍存在的共同点是对未来，尤其是招聘中的年龄歧视，感到极度恐惧。她讲述了一个50岁女性的故事，她努力找工作，直到被建议从简历中删除所有日期以隐藏年龄。这种恐惧延伸到退休，许多人设想工作到死，导致了Niazzi所说的“存在主义绝望之池”。 讨论转向了这场危机仅仅是关于衰老，还是很大程度上是“晚期资本主义”的一种症状。Niazzi肯定地说这是一个重要因素，因为曾经普遍存在的稳定、提供养老金的长期工作如今已十分罕见。这种经济不稳定，加上对错失核心人生体验（如生育或实现情感独立）的感受，共同造成了一种独特的危机。与前几代人通过动摇稳定的生活来找回青春不同，千禧一代常常在他们的危机中“寻找成年”。 针对千禧一代的关键性事件被指出：高中时期的9/11事件，许多人刚进入职场时遭遇的2008年金融危机，科技泡沫/破裂，以及媒体等行业的崩溃。这些“多米诺骨牌效应”，即“前进一步，后退十步”，导致了里程碑的延迟——婚姻、生育、置业、退休规划和学生贷款偿还——以及普遍缺乏经济稳定性。 他们还探讨了外表所扮演的角色。千禧一代在同龄时往往比前几代人看起来更年轻，这促成了“延长的早期成年期”，但也在这一个越来越痴迷于青春的社会中，制造了保持年轻的压力。Niazzi质疑这种痴迷的社会影响，特别是关于职场中老年女性的看法，以及如果生育率下降，未来社会护理需求被忽视的问题。 “夹心一代”的困境被突出强调，千禧一代既要照顾年迈的父母，又要抚养年幼的孩子。Niazzi分享了她父亲最近心脏病发作的亲身经历，凸显了成年责任的转变。这种双重照护角色在经济、情感和身体上都极具挑战，而较小的居住空间又阻碍了多代同堂的生活，使问题更加复杂。 Niazzi承认过去常常被理想化，但她指出，像她母亲那样在26岁前就有了三个孩子的前几代人，很早就面临巨大的责任，这可能导致她们在中年时寻求失落的青春。相反，千禧一代在经历了较长时间的“虚度光阴”（effing around）和以自我为中心之后，现在却在寻求稳定和“真正的成年”。 对话触及了自我实现的概念，而非僵硬地勾选所有传统的成年标志。Niazzi强调，无论是职业、伴侣关系、子女还是置业，只要能带来快乐和目标，任何一个标志都足够了。然而，对许多人来说，被排除在*所有*这些标志之外，则会造成持续的危机和不满循环。 展望未来，Niazzi对她子女这一代人表达了希望和担忧，尤其是在气候变化和人工智能对就业的影响方面。然而，她称生育孩子是“一种乐观行为”，并相信千禧一代的特点在于他们积极争取一个更美好世界的能力。她在Z世代对工作和界限的态度中看到了希望，相信未来几代人将重塑劳动力市场，优先考虑个人需求。最终，Niazzi希望她的中年危机过去之后，能为她不断发展的自我和生活带来“平静”与安适。

In an episode of "The Gray Area," guest host John Gwynn Hill speaks with Emile Niazzi, a columnist at The Cut who writes about work and motherhood. Niazzi recently explored how the midlife crisis manifests differently for millennials, a topic she delves into further in this conversation. Niazzi explains her personal draw to the subject, being over 40 herself, and observing a stark contrast in midlife experiences between her generation, Gen X, and her parents' generation. She views millennials as facing a "particularly precarious stage of life" due to intertwined economic, cultural, and fertility crises, positioning herself as a "canary in the coal mine" sounding an alarm about these shifts. The conversation begins by examining the "quarter-life crisis," which Hill describes experiencing at 25, marked by constant crying over not meeting life's perceived milestones. Niazzi fully relates, recalling her struggles to find work in journalism, pay rent, and navigate romance post-college. They discuss how the "freak out" about life achievements seems to be starting younger and younger, as traditional markers of adulthood—like moving out, securing stable employment, and achieving financial freedom—have become increasingly elusive for younger generations. This collapse of traditional markers leads to earlier panic about accomplishments. Niazzi differentiates the quarter-life crisis from the midlife crisis, noting that while emotions can be similar, the stakes are significantly higher in midlife. With children, mortgages, and more responsibilities, losing footing means "a lot, a lot more to lose" compared to being 25 and potentially able to move back home or rely on roommates. Her column features individuals like Joy, who feels she can't afford the lifestyle her parents provided, highlighting a sense of generational regression. Common threads among those Niazzi interviewed include significant fear about the future, particularly regarding ageism in hiring. She recounts a story of a 50-year-old woman struggling to find work until advised to remove all dates from her resume to hide her age. This fear extends to retirement, with many envisioning working until they die, leading to what Niazzi terms a "pool of existential despair." The discussion pivots to whether this crisis is merely about aging or largely a symptom of "late-stage capitalism." Niazzi affirms it's a significant factor, as stable, long-term employment with pensions, once common, is now rare. This economic instability, coupled with feelings of missing out on core human experiences like having children or achieving emotional independence, creates a unique crisis. Unlike previous generations seeking to recapture youth by shaking up a stable life, millennials often find themselves "searching for adulthood in their crisis." Key defining events for millennials are identified: 9/11 in high school, the 2008 financial crisis hitting just as many entered the workforce, the tech boom/bust, and the collapse of industries like media. These "domino effects" of "one step forward, 10 steps back" have led to delayed milestones—marriage, children, homeownership, retirement planning, and student loan repayment—and a general lack of economic stability. They also explore how physical appearance plays a role. Millennials often look younger than previous generations at the same age, contributing to a "prolonged early adulthood" but also creating pressure to maintain youth in a society increasingly obsessed with it. Niazzi questions the societal implications of this obsession, particularly regarding how aging women are perceived in the workforce and the neglect of future societal care needs if fewer people have children. The "sandwich generation" struggle is highlighted, with millennials caring for both aging parents and young children. Niazzi shares her own experience of her father's recent heart attack, underscoring the shifting adult responsibilities. This dual caretaking role is financially, emotionally, and physically taxing, compounded by smaller living spaces that hinder multi-generational living. Niazzi acknowledges that the past is often idealized, but notes that previous generations, like her mother who had three children by 26, faced immense responsibilities early on, potentially leading them to seek a lost youth in midlife. Conversely, millennials, having had an extended period of "effing around" and self-focus, now seek stability and "real adulthood." The conversation touches on the concept of self-actualization over rigidly checking off all traditional adult markers. Niazzi emphasizes that whatever marker—career, partnership, children, homeownership—brings joy and purpose is sufficient. However, for many, being locked out of *all* these markers creates a persistent cycle of crisis and resentment. Looking to the future, Niazzi expresses both hope and fear for her children's generation, especially concerning climate change and AI's impact on jobs. Yet, she calls having children "an act of optimism" and believes millennials are defined by their ability to actively strive for a better world. She finds hope in Gen Z's attitude toward work and boundaries, believing future generations will reshape the workforce to prioritize personal needs. Ultimately, Niazzi hopes the other side of her midlife crisis brings "peace" and comfort in her evolving self and life.